Yep, it's been a while. I didn't know if I would ever come back to blogging until yesterday when I got an update notification for the blogger app on my ipad. And mainly I didn't know if or when I would come back because I don't really take many pictures anymore. Or birdwatch. Or go on roadtrips. Or do anything I used to love doing.
There have been a lot of changes in my life. For one, I am no longer in a relationship. It was a long time coming and it's better this way. A lot of changes going on at work, which I'm not going to get into. I am also broke. So I have to move back in to my parents' place when they return from Belgium next month. I had to rehome Echo because I can't take him with me, he is with a lovely couple now who fell madly in love with him the second they met him. So that was heartbreaking. I cried non stop for days. On day number 3 I seriously wondered how it was possible to still have so many tears left. But I know he's with a good family who will love him as much as I do.
So moving in with my parents will allow me to pay off debt, then save up for a down payment for a condo, which really, is a great thing. I never want to have to waste my money and pay someone rent ever again. But I feel like I'm losing so much in the process. However it needs to be done. So no buying camera equipment, no ridiculous spending, no travelling. The latter is what is getting to me the most because to me, travelling = happiness. I had to cancel two trips, one for this year and one for next year. European trip and a middle eastern trip. So yeah, it stings.
I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason; my parents moving back to Canada couldn't be happening at a better time. And I have met some people recently who have come into my life at the right time also, because they are truly helping me heal when everything seems to be crashing down.
And I know it's all temporary, but it's still really getting to me. I've been feeling so down lately, I don't feel like doing much. So I am making a point to put a bit of money aside for this summer and do a few new activities, to keep my sanity. I'm used to be moving constantly.
I DO take photos at times, with my phone. I just snap a picture then put a filter on it. Nothing complicated because right now I can't handle anything complicated. Or that requires effort. Which, to me, is very sad.
I just can't seem to want to do the things I normally enjoy doing. So this summer I will be doing a few activities I have never done before. So we'll see how that goes.
I know this post is kinda depressing. Kinda like how I've been feeling lately. I just keep telling myself (because I really do know this) that it's all temporary. I will fall back on my feet eventually.
:)
5 comments:
Wendy, I am so sorry. I can tell you are going through a really hard time right now. It broke my heart to hear you had to give up your sweet bird.
I have a daughter, who is probably close to your age, who became very ill and as a result, depressed over a year and one-half ago. Many people have prayed for her healing, and she has changed doctors several times, but finally learned that the source of her problems was arsenic poisoning that she probably acquired while she was living in Japan in the 1990's.
The good news is she was just here for a visit with her two children. She lives about 8 hours drive away, and her husband was not able to come with her. She made the drive successfully7, and looks good even though she is still under 100 lbs. She said she feels better than she has in many years; however, she still must be very careful of the thing she eats.
I am so thankful, but I believe she is here today because Jesus answered our prayers. I will keep you in my prayers. I realize I don't know you very well, but I have always enjoyed your blogs, and believe you are someone very special.
I know it is hard to go back and live with your parents, but I am thankful they will be able to help you. And, you know, there are things to be learned during our down times, that we could never learn when all is well in our lives, and one day you will be a blessing to others for having gone through it.
God bless your day....Janice
Hi Janice,
I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter :( I knew she hadn't been well for a while now but I didn't know why. I really hope that she can get help for this and eventually be healthy and feel normal again. This must be very hard on you and your family.
Thank you very much for your kind words, they are very appreciated. I know I will get back on my feet, it's not something that is permanent and really, it's honestly not that bad. I just have my 'down days' I suppose. I'm just very thankful that my health is good! (for the most part anyway, nothing serious)
I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and I really, really hope she can overcome this.
Again thank you Janice, you are the sweetest and your message really brightened my day :)
(hugs)
Well Friend, this sounds like a difficult part of your journey, but I hope the pain is manageable, and that after these rougher times pass, that you can look back on this and appreciate the growth. I don't know how that would work, but I'm praying that the Lord brings good people into your life to give you a healthy perspective for dealing with stuff. I won't pretend that I know how hard it is for you, but I'm glad to give you my ear and just "sit with you" and listen. Wendy, if I was there, I'd offer a piece of dark chocolate. I always have some in my office drawer, and it seems to do wonders when I or my pals feel like we've been kicked around. (hug)
Thank you for the kind words Craver *hugs* And it's funny that you mention the dark chocolate - I have a piece on a regular basis (!) and you are right, it does seem to do wonders. Sometimes it's the little things :)
Post a Comment