Yep, it's been a while. I didn't know if I would ever come back to blogging until yesterday when I got an update notification for the blogger app on my ipad. And mainly I didn't know if or when I would come back because I don't really take many pictures anymore. Or birdwatch. Or go on roadtrips. Or do anything I used to love doing.
There have been a lot of changes in my life. For one, I am no longer in a relationship. It was a long time coming and it's better this way. A lot of changes going on at work, which I'm not going to get into. I am also broke. So I have to move back in to my parents' place when they return from Belgium next month. I had to rehome Echo because I can't take him with me, he is with a lovely couple now who fell madly in love with him the second they met him. So that was heartbreaking. I cried non stop for days. On day number 3 I seriously wondered how it was possible to still have so many tears left. But I know he's with a good family who will love him as much as I do.
So moving in with my parents will allow me to pay off debt, then save up for a down payment for a condo, which really, is a great thing. I never want to have to waste my money and pay someone rent ever again. But I feel like I'm losing so much in the process. However it needs to be done. So no buying camera equipment, no ridiculous spending, no travelling. The latter is what is getting to me the most because to me, travelling = happiness. I had to cancel two trips, one for this year and one for next year. European trip and a middle eastern trip. So yeah, it stings.
I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason; my parents moving back to Canada couldn't be happening at a better time. And I have met some people recently who have come into my life at the right time also, because they are truly helping me heal when everything seems to be crashing down.
And I know it's all temporary, but it's still really getting to me. I've been feeling so down lately, I don't feel like doing much. So I am making a point to put a bit of money aside for this summer and do a few new activities, to keep my sanity. I'm used to be moving constantly.
I DO take photos at times, with my phone. I just snap a picture then put a filter on it. Nothing complicated because right now I can't handle anything complicated. Or that requires effort. Which, to me, is very sad.
I just can't seem to want to do the things I normally enjoy doing. So this summer I will be doing a few activities I have never done before. So we'll see how that goes.
I know this post is kinda depressing. Kinda like how I've been feeling lately. I just keep telling myself (because I really do know this) that it's all temporary. I will fall back on my feet eventually.
:)
